To work with Holly, he’d have to exercise their bodies’ biggest sex organ—their brains. He could do a lot of the work that way, building a rapport with her, reinforcing it, and mindfucking her in good ways to drive her hard into subspace.
When they finished dinner and headed to the club, he could tell her nerves were winding up a little.
“Are we still okay, sweetheart?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Remember you can say red to anything. Play, sex—anything. Unless I know you’re into something, I can’t enjoy it.”
“I wish I could play hard.”
“I thought we’d settled this?” He really needed to figure out a way to get her to understand he meant every word he said.
He didn’t “need” heavy play. Heavy play didn’t mean anything to him if his partner didn’t want it or couldn’t take it. Tory was a heavy masochist.
The play Walt had done with Holly last week had stayed with him all week, memories of it figuring prominently every time he rubbed one out.
His libido, since meeting Holly, had gone into overdrive, he was happy to see. “I’ve been thinking. I’d like to try a little experiment tonight, if you’re up to it.”
“What?”
“I’d like to try dropping you into subspace and then do a light flogging on your back. I packed a very soft set of suede floggers. Deerskin. I usually don’t get a chance to use them. They’re thumpy.”
* * * *
The thought of Walt shirtless, moving around her like he did with Tory…
Another jolt of heat headed straight to her clit. “I’m not sure I can stand with my hands over my head.”
“You don’t have to. You can use a bench, one of the horses, or a kneeler. Or laying flat on the mats.”
“Okay. Won’t know until we try, right?”
“Right. In fact, the mats might be the best. Get you warmed up with the violet wand and some reflexology, and then try the floggers.”
The thought of his hands on her didn’t help her throbbing clit any. “Yes, Sir.”
He smiled. “Good girl.”
Once they were at the club, he immediately led her over to the other side, to claim the mats before anyone else started. For a little while, they had the new side to themselves.
He spread a throw for her to lie down on after she pulled her sundress off. She watched while he set up, getting his violet wand kit ready and digging the two floggers out of his bag.
“Here,” he said, handing them to her.
She felt them. The soft, supple leather felt more like a chamois than an implement of BDSM play. “They’re so soft and light.”
“Exactly.” He set them aside. When he started using the violet wand on her, she allowed her brain to unplug and disengage, letting him push a little and try a stronger setting as he ran the probe up and down her body.
She let out a soft moan as warmth flowed through her and her clit resumed its dull, insistent throbbing between her legs.
She was aware of Walt swapping out the probes, but she didn’t care. Her body relaxed, the good pain more a deep, comforting warmth soaking into her aching muscles.
“Tony and Nate told me that a person’s body can be trained to react to pain as if it were pleasure,” he said. “That rewiring the brain is stupid easy.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“I wouldn’t hate it.” When she peeked, she spotted his playful smile.
“I’m your guinea pig, Sir.”
“Such a pretty one you are, too.”
When he switched from the violet wand to reflexology, her body responded to his hands as if he was already plugged directly into her brain stem. He seemed to know exactly how hard to press, and how long, to get the desired result.
Switching back and forth between that and the violet wand, she had no idea how long she lay there, except that it felt sooo damn good and she didn’t want to move.
Eventually, his voice spoke in her right ear. “Want me to try the floggers?”
“Yes, Sir,” she said, not opening her eyes.
He disappeared for a moment. Then she felt him standing over her, straddling her. A slight breeze caressed her flesh first, then she flinched at the touch of leather against her back. He started out by sweeping the falls up and down her spine, not hitting, just stroking her with them as he gauged her ability to tolerate the sensation.
Emboldened by her positive response, he started to increase the pressure, the impacts growing in strength and frequency as he picked up the rhythm of the music. Holly relaxed even more, the sensation totally good, not the slightest bit of pain or discomfort.
Walt worked his way up and down her body, focusing on her shoulders, even smacking her in the ass through her panties, prompting her to wiggle it at him and earning her a laugh in response.
“Someone likes being flogged.”
“Yes, Sir. That feels great.”
“Did you want me to try different floggers?”
“How different?” She didn’t want to talk. She just wanted him to keep doing what he was doing.
“I have some that are still relatively soft, but they’re a little beefier than these.”
“Can I feel them?”
“Of course.” He stepped away for a moment and returned with them, holding one so she could feel it. Still soft and supple, but the leather was thicker, heavier.
“I’d like to try them, please, Sir.”
“Good girl.”
He repeated the same procedure, first brushing them along her back before starting actual strokes with them, picking up the force and speed as she settled in.
Now this…She wanted to melt into the mats below her. It felt like a massage, even better than the first floggers had felt.
“Give me a color,” he said during one pause.
“Greeeeeenn.”
He laughed and started in again. She wondered if he was doing a Florentine pattern, from the speed and tempo of the beats. She lay perfectly still, hoping he wouldn’t be upset if she fell asleep on him.
This was, literally, the most relaxed she’d felt in…years.
The flogging stopped. He got down onto his knees, straddling her back and working his fingers along either side of her spine, tracing it up and around her shoulder blades until he located the biggest myofascial knot on her left side.
She winced as he started manipulating it, but it was still the good kind of pain, making her moan in pleasure. “Ooohh, my god. Please don’t stop.”
“We good?”
“If you don’t stop, yes, Sir.”
She heard Nate laugh from somewhere nearby but she didn’t open her eyes when she heard Walt talking with him.
Then Walt leaned in to softly speak in her ear. “Is it all right if Nate shows me how to do pressure cupping on you?”
“Mmmhmm.”
He chuckled. “I need a yes or no, sweetheart.”
“Yes, Sir. Pretty please.”
“Ooh, she’s snarky when she feels good,” Nate teased.
She kept her eyes closed, enjoying feeling like this, as Nate showed Walt how to position the pressure cups on her back.
At some point, Nate went away, the cups were removed, and Walt draped another throw over her. When she felt him stretch out next to her on the mats, she instinctively rolled to face him, snuggling close.
“How do you feel, sweetheart?”
“Greeeeenn.”
A soft chuckle rumbled through his body. “I take it that was good?”
“Yeeeeesss, Sir.”
“When you’re feeling up to it, no rush, we need to get you dressed again. We’ve had the mats occupied nearly two hours now.”
That sliced through her brain. Her eyes snapped open. “Two hours?”
He wore a pleased grin. “Mmmhmm.”
“Holy cow.” He helped her sit up. “I swear, it didn’t feel that long.”
“I flogged you for close to thirty minutes.”
“Really?”
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“Yes, little Miss I Can’t Take Heavy Play.” He leaned in and kissed her. “I finally stopped the flogging because my arms were getting tired. I was hitting you pretty hard at the end.”
“It didn’t feel like it.”
“That’s because I warmed you up, and they weren’t harsh floggers. See? Told you I could get my fix while giving you yours.”
She pulled the throw around her and stared into his eyes for a long moment. Around her, she was starting to become aware of the music, the other people. This side was now filled with people playing.
Leaning in, she kissed him. “Do you mind if we leave and go back to your place now?”
“Did I wear you out?”
“Not yet.” She forced herself not to look away. “Someone made me a promise about the first time we make love.”
He leaned in, their lips almost touching. “So I did.” He kissed her. “And I plan on keeping it.”
Chapter Seventeen
Holly couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept somewhere other than at home. Not counting the weeks she’d spent in the hospital while fighting for her life.
Those were times she did not want to think about, especially not right now.
Being at Walt’s felt different, not that unfamiliarity of the new, but as if the house was holding its collective breath and awaiting…something.
She flinched when he shut the door behind them and fought the urge to break into nervous giggles over that.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She skimmed her hands up her arms. “Yeah, sorry. Just nervous.”
He set her overnight bag down and drew her into his arms. “I meant it. Whatever you want to happen. If all we do is watch TV and talk and cuddle before we go to bed, that’s okay, too.”
“I kind of want to do more than that.” She closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest as she inhaled. “Not kind of. I want to do more than that.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I’d like that, too, but only if you want it. I don’t want to do anything to hurt you in the bad ways.”
“Somehow, you’ve managed to not hurt me in the bad ways.”
“Pretty good for a sadist, huh?”
She looked up into his blue eyes, loved his handsome smile. “Yeah. Really good.” She rose up on her toes to kiss him.
It scared her how easy things felt with him. How he wasn’t running scared from her or her situation.
In fact, he seemed tenaciously determined to convince her this wasn’t a bad choice.
Why am I resisting letting him convince me?
“I’m going to get the rest of the stuff out of the car,” he said. “Make yourself at home.”
She looked around while he was gone. It wasn’t her first time here at his house, but it would be her first overnight here.
Her first overnight with him.
It was a relief to see that his house was tidy but lived in. He wasn’t a slob, yet it wasn’t so neat and clean that she felt uncomfortable. After he returned with the rest of their things, he walked over to her.
“What do you feel like doing?”
“That’s a loaded question.”
He stroked her arms. “I expect honesty.”
She reached up, slipped her hand behind the back of his neck, and kissed him. “How’s that for an answer?”
A sexy smile filled his face. “That would be a green in my book, sweetheart.”
They made their way to the bedroom, Walt sliding her sundress up and off her and leaving her glasses on the bedside table before he gathered her into his arms and kissed her. Every nerve ending in her body felt charged, but in a good way for once. Not with pain, but with pleasure, her clit once again throbbing as he breached the seam of her lips with the tip of his tongue and started exploring.
She tried to back them toward the bed, but he wouldn’t be moved, holding her in place and kissing her so hard and well he literally stole her breath away.
“Why are you not running away from me?” She hadn’t realized she’d said that out loud until he leaned back a little so he could look down at her.
“What?”
She blinked, heat filling her face. “I…uh…”
* * * *
Walt sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her down into his lap. “I think we need to talk some more.”
That’s not what he wanted to do, but her left-field comment that she obviously hadn’t even meant to say out loud—based on the look on her face—meant they needed to talk.
She tried to unbutton his shirt. “No, I’m sorry. No talky. Let’s not talky.”
He corralled her hands. “No,” he firmly said. “We talk now.” He studied her for a moment. “Are we taking this too fast for you?”
She shook her head. “No, Sir. I’m good. Really. I’m sorry.”
“The whole point of a power exchange relationship is one person gives over negotiated control to the other person. Right?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Have I pushed you too soon?”
“No, Sir. Not at all.”
“Do you want to renegotiate anything we’ve discussed?”
“No, Sir.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
She took a deep breath. At first, he thought maybe she wasn’t going to answer, or just say “nothing,” meaning nothing else would happen that night until they talked a lot more.
“It feels too easy,” she said. “What am I doing wrong?”
“You’re not letting go. You’re not used to having someone to let go to.”
“Well, that’s true. I’ll agree with that.”
“Letting go and trusting, within negotiated limits, means you. Let. Go. That means if I want our D/s dynamic to be snuggling on the couch and watching TV, that’s what it is, if we’re not violating your hard limits. It means if I want it to be taking you to your appointments at Nate’s, that’s what it is. It means if I want to sit here with you in my lap, that’s what it is. Unless you safeword.”
“But you’re a sadist.”
“Back to that?”
“I’m sorry.”
He closed his eyes. “Please don’t apologize.” He rested his head against hers. “What do you want to do?”
“Pretend I didn’t open my mouth and get back to the kissing.”
He chuckled, finally opening his eyes and looking at her again. “You’ve never really been in a D/s dynamic, have you?”
“No, Sir.”
“One more time, have I violated your limits?”
“No, Sir.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“How can it be this easy?”
“Because we’re both adults communicating, that’s why.” He had a thought. “You haven’t been reading a bunch of those romance novels, have you?”
“No. I barely have time to read at all, unless it’s legal stuff relating to Louis’ case somehow.”
“Okay. Would you feel more subby if I put cuffs and a collar on you right now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Do you want to?”
He fought the urge to gently pound his forehead against hers in hopes the information would magically transfer to her brain from his via osmosis. “It’s a yes or no question.”
“Yes, Sir.”
He eased her onto the bed and went to his closet. Digging out the softest set of leather cuffs and matching collar he had, he started with the wrist cuffs, putting them on loosely and watching her expression before moving to the ankle cuffs.
Then the collar.
That’s where a problem cropped up.
Even loose, the way the collar fit dug into a spot on the back of her neck that caused her the bad kind of pain.
He immediately unbuckled it and removed it. “Then you won’t wear that.”
“I’m sorry, Sir. I thought… I thought maybe I could wear it now. He choked me and it did nerve damage…”
The expression on her face looked somewhere close to heartbroken.
So he gently cupped his right hand around the front of her throat and eased her back onto the bed, his lips over hers.
“I don’t need a collar around your neck to be your Dominant, sweetheart. I just need to be inside your head and your heart, that’s all.” He kissed her, letting his left hand drift down to her right breast, where he rubbed the pad of his thumb over her nipple.
A soft moan escaped her as her nipple hardened, tightly peaked under his touch.
He shifted position slightly. Other than removing his shoes when he first walked in, he was fully dressed. She still wore her panties, and he pressed his jeans-clad knee firmly into the juncture between her thighs.
Lifting his lips from hers, with his right hand still cupped around her throat, he said, “Who’s my good girl?”
“Me, Sir.”
“That’s right, you are. I’m going to shut your brain off again, the way it was earlier, and make you feel good.”
She was already rubbing herself against his knee and he let her. He kept teasing her nipple with his thumb, watching her eyes as he did to gauge how she was doing. Once her sweet brown eyes dropped closed he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her again.
* * * *
It felt like sweet electricity flowing through her, from her nipple, straight to her clit. When she tried to sit up again to start undressing him, he simply kept her pinned to the bed by her throat. Not choking, just…holding her there.
“No, you don’t,” he whispered before kissing her again.
She ground her pussy against his leg and whined with need. He moved his thumb to her left nipple and started teasing it into a tight, needy peak.
No, she wasn’t the most promiscuous person in the sexual playground, but she’d considered herself fairly experienced before everything had happened.
What Walt was doing to her—without her panties even being off—was blowing.
Her.
Mind.
The room was lit by a single lamp in the far corner, and his blue eyes looked dark, smoky, intense.
“Is someone horny?” he whispered.